Hello my loves!
I feel like I’ve lost my groove for getting these posts up for you:( Having the time to sit down and talk with you guys, get whatever is in my head out, and just creating these fun connections is something that I really, truly love. Knowing that I have a group of you out here that care about whats going on in my life, enjoy the same things as me, and that have many other things in common with is special to me.
I’m going to try to not get too intense here, but no promises.
Growing up I never had an issue making friends. I honestly wasn’t teased (except for a bit right after I needed to get glasses in second grade) by people in school. I was friendly with everyone in my classes, but somewhere along the line I found a way to put myself into the background. I blended in so well that when I was there it was fun, and I always had a good time, but when I wasn’t there I’m not sure how much of a difference it made. I have a few people I still keep in touch with from high school and college, but I’ve never been a person who had lots of close friends. I noticed this year at my birthday in particular how much I have made myself blend in. There are the people who always make a huge deal about their birthdays. They have 7 people all thinking about what we should do to celebrate, and asking what you would to do. They are all aware it’s coming and its a big deal. For me, I have my few best friends that will call, send cards (they live in different states sadly) and my best friend here asking, but its never a big deal for others really. I hope this isn’t coming off poorly… I know there will be those of you who get exactly what I’m saying. It’s one of those times where you’ve realized you made yourself blend in, not stand out, be the center of attention, so much that you’ve made it easy for people to pass you by. I want to change this about myself. I want to not worry about blending in. Not worry about what people may think if I stand out. I want to start living just for me, and not for what expectation I’ve created for myself. I’ve stayed that little girl who likes to be friendly with everyone, but who it takes a bit for people to get to know. The little girl that is always okay being behind in the background.
I feel like thats where you all come in. We’ve never met in real life, but we know a lot about each other. We know favorite movies, we know stressful things that are going on in our lives, we know what makeup look we are loving:) We have our community. I’m going to live for this version of me. The real me who loves makeup, I love this blog, and vlogging with my husband and sharing the true me with people. I’m going to make it my goal to upload more, to vlog more, to just do what I would want, and not what people would expect me to do.
Have any of you come to this kind of realization? Or just have the same kind of back story?
See you all tomorrow for Mandarie Mondays:) In case you missed it here was my birthday vlog from a couple weeks ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oQqqebyBQo